Faith Family

I Wish I Was A Virgin When I Got Married

The “V” word…

We rarely hear it anymore. It’s rarely mentioned in sermons. Not really mentioned in Bible classes or devotionals to young people. 

Parents have a hard time using this word.

It can embarrass those who do say it! 

We hear more about Viagra than we do this “V” word.

You might have been a little nervous clicking on this link. 

In a world that pushes SEX, this word can slow down a conversation! 


Basketball player A.C. Green was made fun of for being a virgin while playing for the Lakers. 

I can’t remember during my childhood this word being uttered much. 

Dad wasn’t around so I never had the sex talk. My mom did the best she could talking to me about abstaining from sex and remaining a virgin until I got married! 

I do remember mom often saying, “Keep your pants up and be sure those girls keep their skirts down.” That stuck! Or at least it did for a while. 

I wasn’t a virgin when I met Nikki and when we got married, but I wish I was. 

In 2017, parents should teach their children that they should be virgins when they get married. They should save their virginity for their spouse! 

The sexual relationship is meant for marriage. It’s for husband and wife! That’s what the Bible teaches. 

Yeah That’s Right!!

We are to abstain from sexual immorality, 1 Thessalonians 4:1-8. 

It really is the best way. 

We can’t handle sex outside of marriage. Oh sure, our bodies may be mature, but we don’t fully understand the power of it. 

That’s why it’s reserved for marriage! 

It’s a beautiful thing in marriage. I’m shocked to talk to high school students to learn how little their parents have talked about sex with them. 

It’s 2017…

Porn is on tap…One click away on the phone. 

Sexting is more popular than ever…Many church going kids are involved in this. Do not be decieved! 

So many shows on television are pretty close to  being described as porn…

And we can’t talk about what the Bible says about the sexual relationship? What??? Does that make any sense. Have parents lost their minds? We should let our children know how great the sexual relationship is in marriage.The Bible says plenty about it (See Proverbs and Song of Solomon).

I wasn’t a virgin when I got married. I wish I was. I will have to address that with Joshua when he gets older. Lord willing we will have the talk. I’m sure he will ask me, “Dad, were you a virgin when you got married?” I will have to be honest with him. 

“No son, I was not…” But I wish I was! 

Both people being a virgin on their  wedding night is a beautiful thing. 

There’s no baggage that’s brought into the marriage. There’s no comparisons being made. That’s exactly how God designed it. 

Adam and Eve were both virgins. They were able to figure things out fine. So can we. Don’t believe the lies of the devil. 

Giving your virginity to your spouse is such a wonderful gift to give!

 People focus so much about all of the gifts people will bring them on their wedding day. What gift will you bring to your future spouse? Bring them the gift no one else can give them. 

Be holy because God is holy, 1 Peter 1:13-15. Abstain from sexual immorality. 

Teach your children to abstain! 

Gods way is always the best way! 

You don’t have to wish to be a virgin when you get married. Make a choice to be a virgin right now! 

Are you engaged? Wait until marriage. Don’t believe the lie that since you’re  engaged it’s okay for you two to have sex. 

Are you dating? Set boundaries early! 

No illegal use of hands…Throw the flag that says “Stop” when that happens.

No offsides…Throw the flag that says “we are too close…make room for Jesus.” Don’t be all hugged up like a married couple. Cmon now! 

I wish I was a virgin when I got married.

Make the decision to be one! Don’t be ashamed of that word and what it means. 

I CAN DO and SO CAN YOU. Life is all about having the right kind of attitude. We will face challenges. We have to decide how we will respond. Getting an ICD (Internal Cardio-Verter Defibrillator) in 2010 forced me to make a decision about my mindset. I decided that I CAN DO. What about you? Let's go. Check out my blog at and my books on Amazon at

6 comments on “I Wish I Was A Virgin When I Got Married

  1. I do have to quibble with one thing you say, and I will preface this by saying I did wait and I do agree that people should wait.

    However, waiting does not guarantee no baggage. Waiting does not make honeymoon sex amazing. Waiting does not make one marriage superior to another.

    I was raised I’m purity culture, where purity was a huge focus and we heard all kinds of analogies for people who didn’t wait like chewed gum and spit in water. This puts your mind in a place where you derive your worth from your virginity, not from God. This is a very bad thing and it does cause baggage in a marriage. I and many others had trauma, depression, anxiety and shame after attempting to have sex within the confines of marriage due to being raised in this rhetoric. Our identities as “virgins” fundamentally changed and we felt dirty and wrong even though we had done everything right. Many of us didn’t even know our own anatomy on the wedding night because our parents withheld sex education in hopes of keeping us virgins.

    All this is to say, waiting is biblically commanded, but it doesn’t guarantee any kind of enjoyment or lack of problems in a marriage. My unsolicited advice is to teach your kiddos their worth is in Christ way more than you teach them that virginity is important. If the love of Christ is in them, wanting to follow his commands is a natural reaction. 🙂


    • Rebecca, thanks for your feedback. I agree, that parents need to do a better job talking about the sexual relationship. As a father, I now have that responsibility to talk to my son about it. The sexual relationship is a blessing in marriage designed by God.

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  2. I wish I was a “v” before being married, but my husband and I both weren’t but we honestly told each other while dating so we knew what we both were coming into. Even though we both weren’t before being together we made a vow not to have sex before we were married if we did we’d break up. I want to teach our son the true meaning of purity and how sex before marriage can really ruin relationships while dating. In JH my mom went w me on a Christ in youth event and she wanted me to buy a shirt that said I’m a virgin and I was like no in JH wearing that to school I’d be made fun of.

    Liked by 1 person

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